ANYONE asking Eurobodalla mayor Lindsay Brown why he did not chair the past two council meetings is likely to receive a more candid response than they bargain for.
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If you are a bloke of a certain age, don’t be surprised if the talk turns to incontinence, nappies and erectile dysfunction.
He’s also likely to gently push you to have a prostate cancer check.
The 56-year-old councillor openly shared this week what he has kept secret from all but a few people since late last year – a diagnosis of prostate cancer.
Cr Brown got the news a week before Christmas, via a phone call from his surgeon in the middle of a Moruya Business Chamber meeting and party.
“It was a shock,” Cr Brown said.
“I went back in and finished the meeting. I don’t think anyone noticed.
“Then I went home and gave my wife the bad news, which was a very difficult time for us.”
The following day he drove to Albury to see his seriously ill best mate and childhood friend – Peter – arriving too late to say goodbye.
“He passed away that night and I did not get to see him,” Cr Brown said.
He read at Peter’s funeral, knowing he would return for surgery to remove his prostate and all the complications that might bring.
However, both being on intimate terms with “male protective underwear” and his male parts no longer working so well, pale into insignificance compared to his relief at being alive.
“I wanted to see my daughter get married and have children,” he said.
On Friday, Cr Brown received the all-clear after January's surgery.
“The best words you can hear from a specialist are ‘clear margins’,” a relieved Cr Brown said.
The cancer, while it had breached its inner capsule, had not breached the prostate and no further marker antigens were visible in his blood.
Now, Cr Brown is on a mission to get men to talk about disease that kills too many.
He’s also determined to be upfront about the temporary but confronting side-effects of surgery.
“That is what I want to get out to the male of the species: don’t be embarrassed by this process,” he said.
“I have had the operation, I have removed the prostate, I have pretty much a cure and I will be able to live life as normal, once I get through the side-effects.
“When a male turns 50, they should get tested and preferably have a physical exam.
“I think most men have a challenge to openly talk about their illness.
“They are reticent in going to doctors when they don’t feel well.
“I have had friends who have not done that and have passed away because of their own embarrassment and own bravado.
“Most blokes think, ‘I will be right’.”
Cr Brown was never in that camp.
His father had prostate cancer and his mother died of another cancer at the age of just 58.
“I have always had regular checks,” he said.
Cr Brown’s voice choked on many occasions through this interview, most notably when he talked about the loss of his friend.
But he was at his strongest wanting men to be open about the illness and its side-effects – and he has very strong views now on male public toilets: they are too small and have no bins in the cubicle.
He’s also thanked former mayor Fergus Thomson, who has undergone two recent brain operations for tumours.
“Ferg inspired me to keep going,” he said.
Story first appeared on the BayPost website.
OPINION PIECE FROM JOSH GIDNEY
THE words “prostate” and “cancer” are the last words a man wants to hear in the same sentence, but Eurobodalla Mayor Lindsay Brown had no choice but to listen late last year.
As Kerrie O’Connor’s story relates, the mayor got the diagnosis late last year and had the necessary surgery for it in January.
In between these two events he lost a close friend, arriving at his Albury home too late to say goodbye.
I’m only 43 and I have lost five close friends who were around my age so I can imagine Lindsay was feeling incredibly alone at the time, despite him having a loving family.
This combined with his diagnosis meant that people in the Eurobodalla grumbling “Where’s the mayor, it’s just unfair” were the least of his problems.
It has been a rough few months for him, but the surgery was a success, and now he is urging others who could be in line for prostate cancer, to speak out, and get checked.
Whether you are talking about cancer such as this, or mental illness, you must speak out and get help, or perish – it is that simple.
Countless men have allowed their pride and a false sense of selfless heroism stop them from getting checked and getting help, and the result has been that those they sought to protect with inaction and silence then had to live without them.
Lindsay wants to make his survival and recovery count and is encouraging men to get tested.
He also knows that his survival and recovery means he can now continue to celebrate his Rabbitohs’ victories in the NRL grand final, Auckland Nines and World Club Challenge.
Like a rabbit, he has defeated a disease.
I recently had a blood test, something that my family and work colleagues had been urging me to do for a long time. I had long thought that if I dropped dead, well, then I dropped dead, and therefore didn’t bother.
I then realised I had a family who needed me, and that my life therefore didn’t just belong to me, so I had to do it for them.
Your life belongs to your loved ones, just as much as it belongs to you, so whether you are threatened by a physical or mental illness, reach out, and get help.
Josh Gidney (male)
Story first appeared on the BayPost website.